“There is only one thing God wants of us, and that is our unconditional surrender. When we are born again, the Holy Spirit begins to work His new creation in us, and there will come a time when there is not a bit of the old order left, the old solemnity goes, the old attitude to things goes, and “all things are of God.” How are we going to get the life that has no lust, no self-interest, no sensitiveness to pokes, the love that is not provoked, that thinketh no evil, that is always kind? The only way is by allowing not a bit of the old life to be left; but only simple perfect trust in God, such trust that we no longer want God’s blessings, but only want Himself.” Oswald Chambers
I love this! But (here I go again), can’t You Yourself be the fullness of life? I mean, aren’t You Life and Love that we can experience with intention and reverence and deep gratitude? I mean, when I play the piano, enjoy music, paint, enjoy paintings, write, enjoy writings, dance, enjoy dancing- when I do all those things- sing, enjoy singing. Well- aren’t I enjoying You? I mean yes, they are blessings, but aren’t they You revealing Yourself in Your humble human creature-children? Oh yes- I can’t forget- cooking, and enjoying food! Conversing and connecting with fellow human beings- all these things are indeed blessings, but that is how I experience You! I cannot experience You in a vacuum. That was never Your intention anyway. You, Jesus, came here in person. And You, Holy Spirit- You dwell within me this very minute. When I live fully, I am enjoying You.
Now, that is not to say that I am not enjoying You when the trials come. When they come, I am enjoying Your peace, comfort, nearness, and understanding, and Your power to heal. According to how You are operating in my life, I am enjoying and experiencing different facets of You. But it is always You because You and I are connected.
Our strong bond is this: You formed me- I come from You. I needed You desperately and You rescued me and entered into a blood covenant with me. This bond is ours, and You have promised me that You will never leave me. That is all I want from You. I mean, other comforts would be nice, but they are not necessary to the Life that You Are. In the end, all I want is You. Deepen that reality in my heart. Chisel, etch, Yourself deep, deep into me. Right now, I see the tip of the iceberg- look at how many decades we have left to get to know each other! Well, You already know me, but I can share with You intentionally, and look at how You can show Yourself to me. I know it is fun for You. You are happy that I want to know You so badly.
Remember the other night, I asked You to be best friends with me? Well, You are already my best friend. But, may I have the privilege of being Your human best friend? I mean, not to take the place of Enoch or John or anything, but I want to be Yours wholly and utterly. I want to be completely Yours.
What I really want is to be as near to You as I can get. When I see You face to face, I want to recognize You fully. I want to see You face to face now- today- asap. I mean, I will wait on You. But I want to be so, so near to You in heaven. I want to be so close to You in the new earth. I want the honor of Your Presence. I have a while to get there- I know You are purifying my heart. I want to be as close to You, all snuggled up with You- well, that might be too intense- but hey, bring it on!
I just want to know You deeply here, today. I feel that when I create and enjoy creations, learn science, math, history, psychology- when I learn these things, when I relate and love on and am loved by people, I am experiencing You. And of course when we spend time together one on one, I get to know You because You bestow upon me great revelations of Who You Are. Thank You for sharing Yourself with me even though I have not worshipped You appropriately when You do. Thank You for being vulnerable with me.
I have such a long way to go before I will truly know, know You. I want to get there quickly though! What’s the best route? Hugging close to you in humility and trust, understanding that this is an eternal arrangement. You said through Solomon that You will make my righteousness shine and increase like noonday. Righteousness is being in right standing with You, which is standing right up next to You- or rather sitting on Your lap like how my brother John did with You, Jesus. Yea! I love You.
